Arezou Esmaeeli

Bryan Dunn

English 2, 6th Hour

29 February 2016

 

Criticism

Criticism is something that many people have experienced throughout their lifetime. Criticism has two different definitions: “the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes” or “the analysis and judgment of the merits and faults of a literary or artistic work.” Criticism can alternate between the two, depending on who said it and the tone they say it in. Criticism is the basis of the society today. People are able to make a living by writing critiques. Growing up, criticism seems to be a big part of life especially during teenage years. However, it is easy to separate people criticizing you for your benefit, or people criticizing you for their benefit.

 

Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes criticism is a necessary part of life in order to lead people towards the right direction. Those anticipating your failure through their criticism are easy to determine based off this list

 

1. They have never done anything in the past to bring you down. Of course, this is somewhat obvious, and I realize that people are able to change. However, those that genuinely want only your success and happiness in the future are the ones that haven’t done anything to hurt you before. If hurtful acts have happened a few times but you wouldn’t consider dropping a friendship; it is your own choice you have to make for whether or not to trust their criticism. Make sure to analyze it and determine what hurtful acts have been caused on purpose, and what has happened due to accident. Spend time to think about it, and see whether or not they have done anything major for you in the past. I’m sure that it won’t be too difficult for an answer. I used to be very good friends with someone, let’s call them L. I would take their advice on nearly anything. I put this person in a high regard and respected them very much. I had an encounter with a girl that was simply awful. She would spread lies about anyone and everyone, she was manipulative. She was someone I didn’t enjoy associating with, but also someone I was too weak to break away from. Finally, when I did break free from her lies and manipulation; I lost my friendship with L. It hurt me very much and I tried to mend the friendship, unfortunately, the girl had already told the person various lies about me. I was too late, I lost a valued friend. L finally broke free from the girl as well, and L wants to mend our friendship again. This time, L is too late. Never again will I value their advice. Never again will I trust their words. Any criticism that is thrown at me by L, is completely disregarded because I know that to this person my word was nothing to them. Therefore, I don’t acknowledge the stuff they have to say.  

2. They don’t backstab. Make sure that they don’t put on a mask when talking to people but reveal their true feelings towards the person behind their back. Most likely if they are willing to gossip to you, they are willing to gossip about you. Those that gossip excessively are easy to find. Try to contact a trusted friend or family member about the advice given, and see what their thoughts are. Having a second opinion can’t hurt.When I was in fifth grade, I was really good friends with someone. We would do best friend things together, but behind my back she would say bad things about me. She put on a happy face when I accomplished something, but would tell me what I needed to improve on. I listened to her advice, but I didn’t follow through with it because of the advice being a bit odd. The advice would be something that I would know not to do, or I already felt as though I perfected whatever it was enough. Behind my back, she would tell mutual friends that I didn’t deserve the award. Sometimes she would make fun of the type of person I am. Looking back, I realize that this person was somewhat of a bully. I think she would feel a sense of accomplishment when she was able to insult me. Now, I am more wary of who to trust and whose advice to value.

 

So far in my life, a few of my friends have acted as though they try to advise me to become the best I can be.I have now realized which people in my life are genuinely rooting for me and who isn’t. Try to maintain those that you have built a strong trust bond with together, don’t get rid of old friends because of new friends. I have realized that old friends are old for a reason. They were able gain your trust and maintain your trust ever since you were young. They are vital. Sometimes criticism can be tough, but know that many people want the best for you. Things will slowly work out, and you will shine!